Slave of Honor
by Sapphire Warrioress
Summary: The choice to sacrifice everything at the altar of duty is all too familiar to Edward Rochester.


_Note from the authoress: Jane Eyre has always been a favorite novel of mine._

_And so I'm posting this story which will explore Jane and Rochester's relationship from the perspectives of different characters._

_It will also focus on Rochester's impossible situation with Bertha._

_Inspiration for this story comes from the novel, as well as the recent BBC adaptation of the book._

_I hope you enjoy this first chapter and as always feedback is greatly appreciated._

_Thanks for reading._

I remember the day he left, so full of hope and excitement, confident that his father and brother had chosen him a beautiful bride.

Always he had sought to please his father, a hard man who often overlooked his younger son in favor of the eldest who was so much like him in manner and appearance.

My master Edward was always such a gentle thoughtful boy, who dreamed of traveling to far away places and reveling in all life had to offer. Ever did he strive to be worthy of his father's love, though the man had none to give as he had lavished what affection he possessed on his firstborn.

Often in those early years of his boyhood, I felt as if I'd become a surrogate mother to little master Edward. The mistress having died giving birth, I took up that role with pleasure, often listening as he spoke of his dreams and challenges to live up to his father's expectations.

I believe he enjoyed my company, for every time he returned from boarding school it was always me he ran to greet first and when grown he always treated me with kindness.

I watched as he prepared to sail for the West Indies, excited at the prospect of marrying such a rich and beautiful woman.

Eagerly I awaited his letter telling me of his bride and whether or not his father had chosen well. But months passed, and I received no word from him, and I dared not ask his father, lest he dismiss me from my place.

So I waited and hoped that all was well, though something deep within warned me that disaster was drawing near.

The death of my master and his cherished son brought sorrow to Thornfield, and yet I rejoiced, for I knew that this tragedy would compel my boy Edward to return with the bride I had not yet met.

Joyfully I and the rest of Thornfield prepared for their arrival, never suspecting the changes which my master's return would bring.

I remember the day he returned, with the woman he would come to resent and hate for binding him to a life of bitter sorrow.

From afar she was so beautiful, a woman of darkness and mystery, with eyes as fathomless as the night sky.

But soon I learned the truth. For beneath that exotic beauty was a creature twisted by madness, captive to desires and thoughts which drove her to violence and destruction.

I with other servants was sworn to secrecy, and at once master Edward began to look for a suitable person to care for his wife.

Two weeks after their arrival, Grace Pool came to Thornfield. She was a grim and silent woman, with a love of wine which I warned my master could lead to trouble. Still, she was the strongest and most capable person who had been found, and so I forced my misgivings to the back of my mind.

Thornfield changed then. Bertha's presence seemed to shroud the house in perpetual darkness, and though I and my fellow servants did what we could to aid our master the day inevitably came when he left Thornfield to travel the world.

I will never forget the look of mingled sorrow and loathing he wore on the morning he left, nor the desperate embrace he offered me as I bid him farewell. How I wanted to ease his pain, to find some way of bringing back that gentle bright youth I had long ago claimed as my heart's son.

But I could do nothing, simply commend him into the hands of God, and pray that he might find peace on his long journeys.

His visits over the next years were infrequent. Always I was first to greet him, as I had done when he was a dark-haired child eager for adventure, and I think that small token of my love helped to make his time at Thornfield bearable.

I learned of his mistresses, and did not condemn him, for I knew what drove him to seek solace with them. Every conquest was his effort to forget the horror of his family's betrayal and his marriage. Yet he found no comfort in their arms, nor did the fortune he had inherited bring him joy amidst his sorrow.

Yet still he showed me during those dark years that he was capable of compassion, that Bertha had not utterly crushed his spirit.

For he brought little Adele to Thornfield, when he could have easily given her into the care of others.

I did my best to care for her, but soon realized that she needed a governess to instruct her in our language and provide her with education.

So I sent out advertisements, and soon received a response from the woman who would rekindle the fiery spirit of my Edward.

She looked so lost and exhausted on that first evening when I invited her to sup with me.

Little Adele soon came to love her, and in time I came to look on Jane as a friend.

I watched as my master struggled to conceal his interest in Jane, as she assumed a mask of cool indifference whenever they were together so that he might not suspect her true feelings.

From the first, I suspected Edward's true reasons behind inviting so many guests and the beautiful Miss Ingram to Thornfield. And I kept silent, for he had precious little to amuse him now.

Yet when I realized that he meant to break the laws of God and men, by making Jane his wife I could not remain silent. But all of my warnings went unheeded as the day for the wedding approached.

I watched as they left for the church, both confident that a happy future was theirs to claim. And God forgive me I wished that they might know every joy, for they had both known suffering and deserved a life together where they could live free from the shadows of their pasts.

Servants stepped forward to congratulate them upon their return, but I hung back, for I had seen in my master's face that his secret had been discovered.

She left the next morning, and though I admired her strength of character and the painful choice she had made, a part of me wanted to urge her to return and accept Edward's offer.

Not even during the early years of his marriage to Bertha had I seen such a bleak and hopeless look in my boy's face, as I did on that morning when I brought him the news of Miss Eyre's departure.

And in my heart I cursed the late Mr. Rochester and his son for sentencing such a remarkable young man to this mockery of life.

I could not find it within myself to be angry at Bertha, for hers was an illness of the mind which twisted all she could have been into a dreadful and warped existence.

So I stood at my boy's side as his Jane left, and in the secret places of my soul begged God to send his children help.


End file.
